The Big Noisy Indian Wedding

Disclaimer : Not wishing to sound like the moral police, I'm just expressing what I've observed in the last eighteen years of my life. I'm definitely not stereotyping anyone, I'm just taking about the majority of us. No offence meant to anyone, and this bears no resemblance to anyone living or dead, or anywhere in between. It goes as follows.

From the very beginning, I have not been what you would call, a big fan of Indian weddings, somehow.
I'm a very peaceful person, give me my peace, not shrilly shehnais and the drone of trumpets to make my ears ache!

The responsibility for around half the world's noise pollution would have to be ours, because of our incessant honking on the roads, and of course the loud weddings! Not to forget all the kirtans and jaagrans that can absolutely not take place without loudspeakers, because it's scientifically proven that our prayers are answered more quickly if we speed post them through loudspeakers! Bhagwaan ji might not hear them otherwise, na!

Coming back to the point, one explanation for all this is, that it's in our culture, bhai! We simply cannot help being noisy and pushy!
But what about the growing western influence? Globalization and all that?
Uff, says someone, it's for the best only, na! We're Indian when we want to.. and Amreekan otherwise! Best of both worlds na!

Ahh.. and the weddings!

And the food, don't even get me started on the food! And the rush to eat it. Lest, we end up being hit by a famine!
And the groom. Sitting on the horse. Waiting. Patiently. For everyone to get the hell over their dancing craze and reach the wedding venue. Fast.
I would pity him, but then my eyes wander over to where the bride is sitting.
At least fifteen kilos of the saree that she has draped on her slender (and sometimes not) frame forces her to hunch slightly..
And the make up. Wow. The aim of the day is to look the "fairest of them all". Quite too literally.
I am not being cynical, it's just an observation.

My mother has been slapping on make up on women who happen to be going for cousins' weddings, going for their own weddings, going for their husbands' sisters' weddings, for their husbands' sisters' sons' weddings, for their own sons' weddings.. and you know how it goes, right?

Everyone, and I mean when I say this, everyone wants to look fairer, not prettier, fairer!
And I simply do not get the concept. (But then again, I don't get make-up either, so we'll just let that argument be.)
But all's not bad. Weddings can be extremely fun if you look out for people with the most outrageous dressing sense! Aunties looking like chandeliers since, they have put on every single piece of jewellery that they own. Wear the most, look the best. If only..
I'm not cynical, just observant (not too much, just the normal amount).
I'm not talking about anyone's wedding, just generally.

Oh, and I needed a topic to write on, and I'm only very glad that I found this at the right time!
P.S. I could write tons more, but then, wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.


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